With the summer(-ish) days finally giving way to brighter evenings, I have found myself in much more of a sociable mood over the last few weeks. Throwing into the mix last night's Full Moon in Scorpio – the sign of intimacy – my thoughts naturally turn towards my connections with others. As we navigate through life and relationships, just how easy is it for us to be our authentic selves with people? Is it possible to connect with people in ways which feel liberating; free from labels, narratives, expectations, hidden agendas, or do we allow our conditioning to get in the way? In an age which places much value on over-information, can we ever just take people as we find them, without the incessant attempts to try and figure them out like equations or deconstruct them as if they were complex theories? Can we ever simply connect with someone on a soul level?
It is said that we can only meet someone as far as they have met themselves, but equally, we can only ever accept someone as openly and wholly as we have learned to love, respect and accept ourselves. When we truly value who we are and are solid in our sense of self-worth, only then can we have honest and balanced interactions with others, free from fear or judgement.
I met someone recently who really made me see just how open I am – and by open, I mean energetically speaking. Before I learned to develop healthy boundaries, this trait used to be my complete nemesis, leaving me endlessly drained and at the complete mercy of energy vampires. However, these days it has essentially become the gift that gives life to my intuition and ability to make deep and authentic connections. I am by no means an extroverted person and whilst I celebrate my openness, I am still at times rather guarded, only choosing to share freely with a handful of people who I trust provide a safe space for sharing. But what I most definitely am is someone who isn't afraid to be vulnerable. I am brave enough and soft enough to seek the good in others; to embrace people beyond their perceived flaws; and to love tirelessly time and time again. So, going back to this person I met recently... It was in seeing how afraid this person was that ultimately inspired me to re-evaluate how exactly I show up in my interactions and relationships with others, and to celebrate my openness. This person was so clearly afraid of their own light; afraid to be seen and so sadly they were unable to meet me where I needed to be met. They were afraid to be more – more visible, more exposed, more generous, more present, more spirited, more gracious – and as a result, presented me with a diluted version of themselves; empty and removed. Yet somehow, I could see that there was so much more that his person had to offer. I wanted to tell them how significant they were; how worthy they were of love, and that how when they were finally able to find the courage to allow others in, that that love would ultimately flood every cell of their delicious being. I wanted them to know that they would literally be bursting with the radiance that comes with being fearless enough to be loved. That was my wish for them. And in that wish I discovered my only real requirement from my interactions with people: come to me whole or don't come at all.